Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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