Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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