tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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