my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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