You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
