I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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