she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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