But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
