Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
