I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
