I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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