I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
