Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
