maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize