What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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