I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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