i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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