It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
