This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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