Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
