it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
