what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
