shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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