so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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