I'm really into asian looking animals
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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