guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
did i just pee glitter
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
