He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
