dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
