The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
