hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I cannot find my penis.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
