I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
