they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
