i don't like sucking hair
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Nicole vs. Life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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