Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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