Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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