Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
