I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
