My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just pee around me
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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