I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Its about making memories worth repressing
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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