hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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