if i died would you start the facebook group?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
