what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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