since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There's even glitter on my cock...
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