i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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