Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
