she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Semen is not good for contacts.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
