"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
