someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize