She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
