the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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