it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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