at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
