Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
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