We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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