oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
