In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
