do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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