Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
